Overwhelmed

I know that some people are excited to get their calendars, because it makes it all seem real.  I, on the other hand, feel like my head might explode.  How am I going to keep up with all of this?  It's another dose of reality, this is a big deal.

Backing up...I went to the bathroom about an hour before my appointment for my trial transfer and doppler ultrasound.  Fortunatly I remembered rather quickly that I was supposed to have a full bladder and basically chugged a 20oz bottle of water.  Dr B called me an overachiever on the full bladder request, phew!  As far as I understand everything looks good on those two tests.  Then they took 5 vials of blood for all of my "pre-cycle blood tests".  Next, we met with a nurse to go over our calendar.  Ah, yes, the official yet flexible calendar.

The calendar is based on a projection of my next CD1 being August 8.  Currently I'm on birth control to help regulate the length of my cycle, but if AF doesn't arrive by the 8th the whole calendar gets revised.  Just looking at all of those dates and meds and tests stresses me out.  This is a big investment of time, emotion, and money.  For a split second I wondered if I could handle it.  Then I reminded myself I always stress out looking at the big picture, and I get to my goals one day at a time.  I like the quote, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step."

I came home tonight and put the important dates into my google calendar.  Dates of appointments, date to start each med, date to stop each med.  The calendar they gave me at the clinic with 6 check boxes for each day can be put aside for almost a month.  I don't need to fret about all of those details now.  As we wrap up appointments at the clinic I try to be good about asking, "So our next steps are x, y, and z, right?"  I need to focus on taking one step at a time.