We had an appointment with Dr B this morning to make sure everything looked okay, and we got the green light to start the suppression meds for our FET. I woke up feeling a little stressed, afraid of hearing my body isn't be ready after the OHSS and we would have to wait another month, but thankfully all is well!
So, tonight I start lupron and baby aspirin (do your docs have you take that?). It is the same as the start of the IVF cycle, making us old pros!
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A Well Worn Path
We are wearing quite a path to the RE clinic these days. The Nurse Practitioner was on duty this weekend and when she came in the room she said, "Dr B warned me about you!" She was referring to the hyper stimulation concern.
I have followed several TTC blogs in IVF and it seems like most people get measurements for each follicle. I don't know if my clinic just does it differently or if they just handle me differently, but they only measure 6 or 7 follicles in each ovary and calculate an average size, which is 16.5mm today. Then they try to count how many follicles are growing and today was 25 in each ovary - total 50. The NP told us she didn't see any "free fluid," which is a good thing. That is another indicator of hyper stim. Since my follicles aren't quite big enough for the trigger tonight we will see Dr B tomorrow morning.
When the nurse called with my blood results Friday she said they don't like to see estrodiol levels over 5,000. That is when you are at risk for hyperstim, but it doesn't mean you absolutely will. On Friday I was at about 3,500 so they cut the follistim to 25 Friday night and none on Saturday. Today my estrodiol is 7,054 so I will not take any follistim tonight.
I'm feeling pretty good, drinking my gatorade and eating my protein. P reminded me, though, that the risk for hyper stim continues after retrieval and increases with the transfer, because your estrogen goes up with pregnancy. So, we continue to wait and monitor. I feel my stress/worry rising the longer this uncertainty of whether I'll hyper stimulate goes on. I continue to practice my IVF meditation daily, which is helpful and makes me optimistic about getting pregnant when we do get to do a transfer.
I have followed several TTC blogs in IVF and it seems like most people get measurements for each follicle. I don't know if my clinic just does it differently or if they just handle me differently, but they only measure 6 or 7 follicles in each ovary and calculate an average size, which is 16.5mm today. Then they try to count how many follicles are growing and today was 25 in each ovary - total 50. The NP told us she didn't see any "free fluid," which is a good thing. That is another indicator of hyper stim. Since my follicles aren't quite big enough for the trigger tonight we will see Dr B tomorrow morning.
When the nurse called with my blood results Friday she said they don't like to see estrodiol levels over 5,000. That is when you are at risk for hyperstim, but it doesn't mean you absolutely will. On Friday I was at about 3,500 so they cut the follistim to 25 Friday night and none on Saturday. Today my estrodiol is 7,054 so I will not take any follistim tonight.
I'm feeling pretty good, drinking my gatorade and eating my protein. P reminded me, though, that the risk for hyper stim continues after retrieval and increases with the transfer, because your estrogen goes up with pregnancy. So, we continue to wait and monitor. I feel my stress/worry rising the longer this uncertainty of whether I'll hyper stimulate goes on. I continue to practice my IVF meditation daily, which is helpful and makes me optimistic about getting pregnant when we do get to do a transfer.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Problem Solving
My body is telling me something. I have woken up between 5:30-6:00am for the last 5 days (I usually get up at 7) with an upset stomach. I take a low dose SSRI daily to manage anxiety, but every once in awhile something stresses me so much that I get a miserable flare up. The early waking and upset stomach are some classic signs for me, and they are usually accompanied by circling thoughts of worry. This time (so far) I don't have the worried thoughts, so it is completely clear to me the root source of my anxiety, all I know is that my body is telling me I'm wound up tight.
It's not really surprising that someone who suffers from anxiety would have a particularly hard time with it while TTC. People who don't have anxiety share a lot of "what ifs" related to process and outcome. I am questioning whether I will produce enough healthy follicles? What if I produce too many and get hyperstimulated? What if I don't get pregnant? In my 5th and 6th IUI cycles I felt like I knew it would take IVF, and I guess I expected that would work for us. Now that we're here, about to try IVF I'm not as confident.
I know it is best to be optimistic and I think I need inspiration so I'm rethinking my plan to only follow TTC blogs. There are so many blogs out there I had decided to focus on building community with people in the same place as me. While that is helpful, I've only been following TTC blogs for about 6 weeks and so far no one has gotten the BFP. Perhaps I should also follow a couple people who have had recent success with IVF. So, who should I read up on and follow?
It's not really surprising that someone who suffers from anxiety would have a particularly hard time with it while TTC. People who don't have anxiety share a lot of "what ifs" related to process and outcome. I am questioning whether I will produce enough healthy follicles? What if I produce too many and get hyperstimulated? What if I don't get pregnant? In my 5th and 6th IUI cycles I felt like I knew it would take IVF, and I guess I expected that would work for us. Now that we're here, about to try IVF I'm not as confident.
I know it is best to be optimistic and I think I need inspiration so I'm rethinking my plan to only follow TTC blogs. There are so many blogs out there I had decided to focus on building community with people in the same place as me. While that is helpful, I've only been following TTC blogs for about 6 weeks and so far no one has gotten the BFP. Perhaps I should also follow a couple people who have had recent success with IVF. So, who should I read up on and follow?
Monday, July 25, 2011
Overwhelmed
I know that some people are excited to get their calendars, because it makes it all seem real. I, on the other hand, feel like my head might explode. How am I going to keep up with all of this? It's another dose of reality, this is a big deal.
Backing up...I went to the bathroom about an hour before my appointment for my trial transfer and doppler ultrasound. Fortunatly I remembered rather quickly that I was supposed to have a full bladder and basically chugged a 20oz bottle of water. Dr B called me an overachiever on the full bladder request, phew! As far as I understand everything looks good on those two tests. Then they took 5 vials of blood for all of my "pre-cycle blood tests". Next, we met with a nurse to go over our calendar. Ah, yes, the official yet flexible calendar.
The calendar is based on a projection of my next CD1 being August 8. Currently I'm on birth control to help regulate the length of my cycle, but if AF doesn't arrive by the 8th the whole calendar gets revised. Just looking at all of those dates and meds and tests stresses me out. This is a big investment of time, emotion, and money. For a split second I wondered if I could handle it. Then I reminded myself I always stress out looking at the big picture, and I get to my goals one day at a time. I like the quote, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step."
I came home tonight and put the important dates into my google calendar. Dates of appointments, date to start each med, date to stop each med. The calendar they gave me at the clinic with 6 check boxes for each day can be put aside for almost a month. I don't need to fret about all of those details now. As we wrap up appointments at the clinic I try to be good about asking, "So our next steps are x, y, and z, right?" I need to focus on taking one step at a time.
Backing up...I went to the bathroom about an hour before my appointment for my trial transfer and doppler ultrasound. Fortunatly I remembered rather quickly that I was supposed to have a full bladder and basically chugged a 20oz bottle of water. Dr B called me an overachiever on the full bladder request, phew! As far as I understand everything looks good on those two tests. Then they took 5 vials of blood for all of my "pre-cycle blood tests". Next, we met with a nurse to go over our calendar. Ah, yes, the official yet flexible calendar.
The calendar is based on a projection of my next CD1 being August 8. Currently I'm on birth control to help regulate the length of my cycle, but if AF doesn't arrive by the 8th the whole calendar gets revised. Just looking at all of those dates and meds and tests stresses me out. This is a big investment of time, emotion, and money. For a split second I wondered if I could handle it. Then I reminded myself I always stress out looking at the big picture, and I get to my goals one day at a time. I like the quote, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step."
I came home tonight and put the important dates into my google calendar. Dates of appointments, date to start each med, date to stop each med. The calendar they gave me at the clinic with 6 check boxes for each day can be put aside for almost a month. I don't need to fret about all of those details now. As we wrap up appointments at the clinic I try to be good about asking, "So our next steps are x, y, and z, right?" I need to focus on taking one step at a time.
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